I loved you 
I mean, I still love you 
even when you got confused
even when you got mean 

I thought I’d cut through 
bring you back with reason 
and practicality 
I thought you’d listen to me 

when I said “dad,
I think you need some help 
you might be overwhelmed 
but we’re here to help
you heal”

now I miss you 
and the shape you left 
in the atmosphere 
what a nest
your beating heart could be 

now I look for you 
in the corners of my room 
wait for hairs to stand on end 
waiting for a haunting

to hear you say “Jessie,
I think you need some help
you might be overwhelmed 
but I’m here to help 
you heal”